No. 74, Black Bubbles

74 blowing bubbles.jpg

There is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but things that come out (of the mouth) are what defile.  Mark 7:15

Dear Diary,

I am in the middle of my journey to Pascha finding myself in an exquisite world. I yearn to become pure, like Jesus was, like His mother was. I don’t know if that is even possible. Yet, for the first time I think a Mark is wrong. I am sure that what goes into my mouth and my eyes and my ears can pollute me.

Not eating animals with blood, and even their eggs, and even their milk is changing me on the inside. Physically, but it also helps me think and feel differently too. Last Sunday, I decided to do more. Now, I don’t eat between 9 am when Jesus was raised on the Cross and 3 pm when He breathed His last. The hunger helps me to remember those watershed hours. I like that the hunger reminds me to think about Jesus on the Cross.

When I am in my car I listen to the CD that George Theodoridis gave me of his chanting of the Akathyst Hymn and I am transported with him to Constantinople and into the hearts of true believers who were rewarded for their faith, who saw God and the ever-Virgin Mary come to their rescue. I almost never listen to the news; I don’t want to know what is happening out there now. Newscasters want to defile me with fear and anger to be like them. I can’t let that happen. Not in the Lenten days.

I wish I could live in Lent forever. I can’t because it is locked in time, but I believe that the contrast makes Lent more glorious. I can’t have the contrast without worldliness and meat too. I won’t think about that now. I only have two more weeks to transform, to be changed so much that the Lenten heart comes with me back into the world. I wonder if heaven is like Lent.

I agree that what comes out defiles us. I know that our actions like bickering, yelling, back-biting, and back stabbing pollute our aspiring souls and hold them down to earth and even lower. But I can’t say that what goes in doesn’t defile us too. I see people everywhere who eat animals and see and listen to horrible things and I am sure that if they abstained, they could be really happy, like me in Lent.

Where did I miss it?

Love,

E.