I don’t know about you, but all this bright week I have felt like I have been tossed out of the Garden of Eden by the collar. I was given the boot! Door slam in my face.
In floats my guardian angel who asks me, “Now what are you going to do?”
“I want to go back, I’ll do that! I’ll find the road and when I get to the royal doors, I’ll bang real hard.”
“That won’t work,” argues my angel, “the road has been hidden. Time and times have covered it with minute-dust so that you’ll never find it.”
“Then, I’ll just sit here and wait for it to appear again.”
“Evangeline, you know that’s impossible too. No one can stand still in time.”
I am beginning to think my angel to be a bit sinister. Whose side is he on anyway?
“Well then," I am desperate for the answer I want to hear “maybe I’ll just become a vegan. Or every time I eat meat I’ll think that the poor animal died for my sin. Then maybe I can at least feel light again. Why did they tell me that I couldn’t fast? I think it was part of the plot to get rid of me. I mean they didn’t say, you don’t have to, they said it is forbidden! Don’t you think all this meat and eggs swimming around my innards are making me drunk with animalness?”
At this point in the conversation I think my angel is beginning to feel sorry for me; exactly what I was hoping would happen!
He says, “Maybe if you ate less earth food and more spirit food you’ll feel better, but I’m afraid you can’t go back. All you can do is keep walking the circle.”
Now I get whiny (even ashamed of myself.) “But the more I walk the farther away I get.”
“Today is Sunday, my child. You can go home.”
“It’s not the same, I was home, I mean the real forever-home. I want to be there. It was so wonderful and fresh and clean. Now I’m stuck back here with the news and all of these blind people who I don’t even feel sorry for anymore.”
“Evangeline, did you feel evicted then?” Now my angel is acting like a psychiatrist and I play along.
“Yes, I did!” I reply stubbornly.
“Well, Evangeline my dear. You are right. You are out here, evicted, or booted as you put it. My advice to you is to work on your own perception of where you are. When you get that chip off your shoulder that irritates you so much and weighs you down, then you’ll see the value and purpose of the eviction.” Then my angel gets mean. “Perhaps the Master was wrong to allow you to enter heaven at all. Wake up, you will find pieces of light on the circle that you can use to see more when you reach the pinnacle again. Stop fretting my child over what you have lost. You must just work on your purification out here. A little less friendly environment, a little more difficult, but you should be stronger now and more up to the task than before you visited heaven. ”
“Thank you angel. Let’s go home before they say we can’t go in there either.”
He was being very nice now as he reached for my hand.