No sooner had I emerged from my mother’s womb than I instinctively knew something was very wrong. It wasn’t just that I was cold; I had no way of knowing what was going on in my mother’s mind any more. Gone was her blood flow, her heartbeat, the gurgling sound that so often lulled me to sleep. I can’t tell you how I knew what she was thinking, but I did. A tingling sensation told me when she was nervous or afraid. I heard the arguments with my father as the loud shouts penetrated through the walls of my womb. I heard her cry.
Suddenly all of that was over. The space between us grew and grew and grew until I neither saw her nor heard any sign of her, not even a pinprick was left.
They told me that months went by before my mother, Mary, and I reunited. Of course I was happy to smell her again, but I was more than a little confused too.
Oh Mary, my Maria. Mother of my flesh. Why do you cry?
I marveled when I read that Christ’s mother Mary, whose birth was the answer to her elderly parent’s prayers, was sent away to be raised by others. Did she cry too? Was Gabriel the first angel she met?
Holy Mary, Mother of God, how gracefully you accepted the shame of your pregnancy, the bumpy trek down dusty roads to Bethlehem! How you shamed Eve when you resisted temptations presented to you over and over again to eat the forbidden fruit of knowing good and evil. Not once did you doubt that God was trustworthy, even when your eyes and your circumstances lied to you.
Mary brave and faithful, receive me in your vast heart, holy vessel of light. Let me hear you breathe around me, your heart beat in rhythm with my own. Please give new birth to my soul with your motherly guidance. Evervirgin mother awaken me if I fall asleep clutching my oil lamp. Tell me when the Father would be displeased and shield me from His hot displeasure when I fail. Teach me how to be as true to life as you.
Mother of my soul, don’t abandon me. Mothers Mary unite in more than name, give new birth to my Mary, my Maria too. You who knew not death, live on as our mother. Marias, mammas of flesh and soul how we will rejoice in the day of fleshly immortality! Alleluia and Amen.