The day that Judas Iscariot betrayed his leader for thirty pieces of silver has lived in infamy. Chrysostom said that Judas had no idea of what they would do to Jesus. When he found out, it was more than Judas could bear. Suicide is not the right form of contrition. It shows the same short sightedness of the first bad decision.
David, a man after God’s own heart, murdered a man so he could take his wife. When he realized the severity of his deed, David fell on his face and wept. Then he wrote, “Have mercy on me o God according to thy great Mercy, according to the multitude of thy tender mercies, blot out my iniquity.” David knew that “a broken and contrite heart, God will not despise.”
Two men in ignorance flung themselves from the face of God, one returned, the other died.
On my way to the cross, these thoughts whirl around in my mind. How often I must have disappointed, even hurt God. Ignorance is not bliss, it can be fatal. It is so easy to think all is well and right when beneath this crusty layer of ignorance could be rot and infestation.
David was grateful, to be told of his failure, Judas couldn’t bear it to see it. Lord, send your angels to awaken me to any thought, word, or deed that would separate me from your life giving image and likeness. Show me the way through the valley of tears and repentance to the tiny Mark, so hard to find, so hard to stay on.
I think that God must have an army of angels in heaven who are assigned to cry day and night over the evils that ignorance pours upon mother earth.
With every word that I read and every word that I write, the same simple message shines through. Learn the commandments, love them, eat them and drink them until they become woven into the fabric of our being. To think like God is to stay alive. When I fall, get up again, when I wander, return with contrition, ask for mercy and try once more. Even if I fall and rise a trillion times, hopefully the moment of my last breath and heartbeat will find me nearer to Life than ever.