11. The Good Poison

“Asa I’m never going to make it. No matter how hard I try to look like God as you say, to obey those commands, I fail. I think maybe He doesn’t want me anyway.”

“Ben, if it was easy the new land will be overcrowded with jerks like this place is. Have you sacrificed a lamb lately?”

“Yes! The lambs are getting to know me. They run whenever I come within ten feet of them! Every time I break a commandment, I put my hands on an unblemished lamb and watch his head being chopped off and then I have to eat it!

Can I tell you how often I’ve had to do that just this week alone? I feel like the butcher of Beirut! Maybe I could get rich selling the meat of all the animals I have to sacrifice. This isn’t working I am not any closer to being like God then I was a month ago. I’m so discouraged, and so sick of killing.”

“Quitters never win!” sung Asa glibly. “At least you’re still trying.”

“Be serious Asa.” begged desperate Ben.

“Let me tell you Ben, maybe you wouldn’t have to kill so much if you really identified with the animal. God wants us to see that in our physical world it is not just age and disease that destroy us, but it is our thoughts that lead to cruelty, selfishness, intolerance. If we can’t love each other, then how can God believe we love Him? Certainly we won’t always agree with Him either. We must be willing to let go of own opinions, for the sake of the greater good, like dying to the self.” explained Asa.

And then Asa added, “It is important that we see with our own eyes the effect of our flaws. On the day that we stop killing those animals we stop realizing how serious is breaking of the commandments.”

“Asa, I am so sorry that these animals have to die for my stubborn self will. I feel miserable about it.”

“Good, so you should. Listen Ben, it is not just the lamb that dies because of the way you behave sometimes; in a way you are also killing your friends, your family. People you hurt don’t want to be near you. When they leave, they may as well be dead to you. You are contributing to this deadly world.”

“Asa, remind me to come to you every time I want some cheering up.”

“Until you learn to kill yourself, the Ben who looks too much like Jake and not enough like, say Moshua. Until you can die to yourself, deny yourself, then you will be a murderer of animals and people and you don’t deserve to enter the Promise Land.

BUT! There is a good poison that can help you die to yourself and look like God. It is called the holy Thank You. If you receive the holy Thank You because you truly want to look like God, you take the place of the lamb-inside yourself.”

“No more killing! This sounds too good to be true!” exclaimed Ben, beginning to cheer up. “Where do I get it?”

“The priests of God prepare the Good Poison in the Temple. But I warn you, like a lethal pill-do not take it unless you are truly sorry for your behaviors and want to look like God. This is not maple syrup; it is God’s-Blood. If you lie about wanting to die to self, you don’t enter the Promise Land. ”

Ben wandered away from Asa without even saying good-bye. So deeply was he immersed in his thoughts.